Modern dating is a cultural invention, not a biblical one. Scripture never commends pairing off for romance apart from the pursuit of marriage. Instead, God gives us categories like honor, sexual purity, family oversight, and the covenantal purpose of union. The Bible doesn’t treat romantic attachment as recreation but as a road to covenant.
“Flee sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral man sins against his own body.”
—1 Corinthians 6:18 (LSB)
The entire dating script teaches young men and women to form emotional and physical bonds without covenant, to pursue self-gratification under the guise of “getting to know each other,” and to delay responsibility while indulging in intimacy. This is not harmless exploration. It trains people to form and sever ties at will, which is a pattern Scripture warns against.
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it pleases.”
—Song of Songs 8:4 (LSB)
Scripture presents marriage as the telos of romantic pursuit:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from Yahweh.”
—Proverbs 18:22 (LSB)
And that pursuit is not cloaked in secrecy or unaccountability. God places parents as stewards over their children (Eph. 6:1–4), calls older women and men to guide the younger (Titus 2:3–6), and upholds sexual purity until marriage (1 Thess. 4:3–7).
So, while Scripture does not prescribe an exact method of courtship, it offers a framework that excludes modern dating’s goals, habits, and timing.
Semper Reformanda
Some argue that dating is simply a cultural form, neutral in itself, and that Scripture doesn’t condemn it because it doesn’t mention it. They may appeal to biblical examples like Jacob pursuing Rachel (Genesis 29) or Ruth and Boaz (Ruth 3) as precedents for informal, emotional pursuit.
Others quote 1 Corinthians 7:9:
“But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
They suggest this supports romantic exploration as long as it eventually leads to marriage.
But these examples and verses assume marriage is in view from the beginning. Ruth and Boaz were under cultural and familial structures. Jacob’s pursuit was marriage-focused and involved bride price and family consent. None of these examples support prolonged recreational romance apart from accountability.
Furthermore, Paul’s command in 1 Corinthians 7 is not an endorsement of dating, but of marrying rather than falling into sexual sin
.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification—that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor… not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles.”
—1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 (LSB)
The biblical witness consistently places romantic desire within the rails of marriage preparation, parental involvement, sexual purity, and covenantal intention. No amount of cultural normalization makes dating righteous if it fails these tests.
Truth That Withstands
The Bible does not support modern dating because it disconnects romantic pursuit from the covenantal aim of marriage and the structures God gives to protect it. While methods may vary, the biblical principles are not optional—and modern dating fails the test of honoring God's design.