Many parents assume that if their kids are at church events—especially youth group—they are being discipled. But here’s the sobering question: Has the youth group quietly replaced you as the primary spiritual influence in your child’s life?
God has never assigned the work of raising children in the fear and instruction of the Lord to a program, however well-intentioned. He gave that responsibility to parents (Deuteronomy 6:6–7; Ephesians 6:4). That means we are called to teach, instruct, correct, and shepherd—every day, not just on Sundays.
Youth ministry can be profitable. Faithful leaders can encourage, mentor, and model godliness for young believers. But they are not called to bear the weight of what God put on your shoulders. When parents rely on the “youth pastor” to do what God commanded them to do, they shift the center of discipleship from the home to the church basement.
Even worse, many modern youth programs often emphasize entertainment over holiness, peer approval over biblical truth. Scripture warns that “Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33), and yet, many teens spend more time being shaped by peers in a social setting than being shepherded by their own parents. The fruit is predictable: shallow faith, fragmented families, and a generation comfortable with a Jesus who demands little.
You cannot subcontract spiritual leadership. A faithful youth group should only ever supplement what is already thriving in the home, not replace it. Your children need to hear you open the Word, watch you repent when you sin, see you pray with urgency, and know that Christ is not just the family’s Sunday topic but the heartbeat of the household.
The call to parents is not optional: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. And you shall repeat them diligently to your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the road, when you lie down and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). No weekly meeting can do what God calls you to do daily.
Semper Reformanda
Some argue that youth group is necessary because parents are too busy, untrained, or unwilling to disciple their kids. Others point to Proverbs 27:17—“Iron sharpens iron”—to defend the value of peers building each other’s faith. While peer fellowship can be good, Scripture never transfers the primary responsibility for discipleship from parent to peer, or from home to program.
Others say, “My child’s youth group is solid and doctrinally sound.” Praise God if that’s true but even the best youth group is not a substitute for the God-ordained work of the family. The biblical model is home-centered discipleship, with the church equipping parents, not replacing them.
Truth That Withstands
When parents abdicate their role, even to good and godly programs, they trade God’s design for man’s convenience. The fruit of obedience comes not from outsourcing but from faithfully tending the vineyard God has given you—your own children.
Shortlink: reformlet.com/youth
It's a theological imperative that we, as parents, should be the primary nurturers of spiritual development and formation. The home is the incubator of faith, not the youth group.