Spiritual Starvation

I often feel like I am not only learning and growing but relearning and remembering things that I have already. Something I learned early on is that my relationship with God is an incredibly important one. He gets me through struggles, lights my path, strengthens my relationships, among many other important areas of my life. He is my rock, my purpose, the center of everything I am.

Recently I stopped dead in my tracks. I went from continual prayer and reading, to nothing. I was the Verizon “can you hear me now” guy, except I didn't even bother to ask that much... Did I let my phone die and not recharge the battery? Was I in a no-coverage area? Why did this happen? I’m just not sure. Though distractions may affect my reading time, it shouldn't have affected my prayer. I can theorize what the cause was, but the important thing I need to acknowledge is that it was voluntary and neglectful. So what resulted from this...

In only the matter of a couple weeks it hit me nearly as quick as I had stopped initially, except I didn't put the cause and the problem together right away. I only knew there was a problem. I was more irritable, less focused, and wandering. I felt weak and then began to think about where my strength had gone. I was starving myself.

I started to listen again to what I allowed to become muffled noises. It chiseled and then broke through the darkness and confusion I had allowed to creep in: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Even as I write this, these words have been at the tip of my tongue ever since. A constant reminder. Continued guidance. “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Satan craves these moments of separation, the moments of complacency and unreadiness. I put down my armor and made myself vulnerable. Thankfully there were no serious repercussions from this, this time. An important decision may have had to been made that could have been disastrous. A trial could have been put in front of me that I could have failed. God was gracious and let me be reminded of this without allowing something more severe to happen.

So in hindsight I’ll never allow such a thing to happen again! ...right? Well, I think about my past. Periods that the extent of my time with Jesus would be on occasional Sundays, but more just being talked at than anything; or times when my prayer life consisted of me just thanking God for a few things and asking Him for even more... Learning, growing, falling down, then getting back up. Striving to look like Christ, to walk in His footsteps. It is a daily task. A lifelong goal.